Metaphysics for a protozoan, English translation
by BloodyAddict
Summary: Humans ask questions to which they can't answer. But why don't we let the things be what they are and stop trying to give answers to to everything that bothers us ? Some situations cannot be explained. For example, the relationship between Shizuo and Izaya. One-shot. Shizuo's POV. Sorry for my bad English, the original text is actually in French :/


**Hi there ! **

**I've tried to translate my French one-shot, but I'm not sure my level is good... The original story is ****_Métaphysique pour un potozoaire_****, my first work published in ****_Fanfiction_****. Rated K+ for the language. And sorry for my bad English :$**

**Enjoy the read ! ^^**

**Disclaimer: **_Durarara !'_s characters belongs to Ryôgo Narita.

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**OCTOBER 10th**

There are things I will never understand. Why the sky is blue only the day, why the Earth rotates without anyone feel the move, why a mysterious biker suddenly appears in Ikebukuro, or why I manage to raise trucks as if they were just empty boxes. But it's like that. You get used to, you don't wonder why. At least, that's not my case. It's not like I believe in supernatural phenomena, even if now I have to believe in them with all that is happening in the neighborhood, but it's just that I hate to complicate my life with all this questions and try to explain everything and anything. Why people annoys us with their fucking explanations ? I like things as they are, if you explain everything about them, how can I stay marveled by seeing them ? I keep my child's mind, and I try to get things only if they could have a serious impact on my family and friends. I don't torture my mind. But, because of my simplicity, some people regards me like an asshole.

I appreciate what I see, I bear, I don't disagree. It's like that. Humans are who they are. And I'm one of them. I've never tried to hide my real nature. So, if I get angry for trivia, that's normal, everyone does. However, others manage to master their feelings, not me. That's the only thing I try to understand. Why everyone manage to control their emotions except me ? I'm physically more strong than them ? I don't care ! All that I want is take the control of my body ! The sky is blue ? Yes, so what ? The biker ? She's here, that's all. But my strength... Why ?

I always had a normal childhood, some kids to rag me, parents concerned about my health and my education, and a little brother as normal as the other boys. But one day, when I was a kid, I raised the fridge with the easiest way of the world, with nothing but my two arms, for the simple reason that my brother Kasuka stole my yogurt ! I think this is what has made _tilt_ in my brain. Since then, my emotions have grown. When I'm angry, this anger is a rage. When I hate, I hate enough to have murder cravings. But for the rest...

... Well, there's not rest. I'm like that. That's all. Why hold back myself when I don't succeed to do it ? Shinra is trying to get why, but me, I don't wanna know. I just want it to stop.

I appreciate what I see, I bear, I don't disagree. It's like that. Humans are who they are. And I'm one of them. And all humans have something they like, and also something they dislike. For my part, there's something that I particularly don't like, I mean, somebody that I particularly hate. He is the person who made me understand that when I hate someone, I hate enough to wish the death of this person, to dream I kill this person. He is the second _tilt_ of my brain. He is Orihara Izaya.

Oh Gosh, what a long story between this jerk and I ! And here again, I don't try to understand anything about his behavior or our first meeting. As soon as I saw him for the first time, I immediately hated him. And visibly, he has decided to give a reason to my hate. Perhaps he would understand why, at the first glance, I've already wanted to punch him. He must have thought: _"I just have to commit an act that usually pushes people to hate someone, and like that, I'll get it~!"_. There's only Izaya to think about things such as rotten.

Well, actually I don't know and I don't want to know why he goes after me like that. I don't give a fuck. I just hate him. I want to kill him. That's final. I don't even know why I still thinking about him ! Come on, now, I stop. I'll stop. At three, I move on something else. One. Two. Three. But why can't I stop ?! Ha, what a bastard ! He manages to haunt my thoughts even when he's not there ! He's going to pay for it ! When he comes back to Ikebukuro, he'll take mouthful of spunk !

... Here I wait for his return, now... Huh...

**OCTOBER 17th**

One week. I'm thinking he'll come to 'Bukuro for one week, now. The maggot and his sticky coat... But he's not there yet. He annoys me even more when he's not in sight ! I don't even want to know why ! Haaa, he annoys me so badly, he'll pay f... **Here he is ! **I recognize his crappy furry coat, which makes me want to burn this apparel, the flea included in it ! Fuck off, Orihara ! Today you're a dead guy !

I get close to him. He is sitting on a bench of the Ikebukuro South park, where I am now. Wait... I'm in front of him, he can obviously see me getting closer, and he doesn't react ?! No one of those double-minded smiles ? No mocking laughs at all ? Not even this contemptuous gaze, full of wickedness ? Nothing ?! But... He's here, isn't it ? I take him by the collar of his jacket.

_"Hey, flea ! Don't I told you to never come back here ?!"_

I'm waiting for him one week to say that... I know, that's quite stupid, but I'm used to say things like that, and anyway he always comes back. Unfortunately. But I'll make sure it does not happen again. This bench is the last thing you'll see, Izaya.

Albeit, I'm not sure he can see something, his eyes are already closed. And he still doesn't react. He sleeps in a moment like that ?! I give him a huge slap.

_"Wake up !"_

I smile, probably a nervous reaction. That's not fair. He just can't sleep while I want to kill him, he doesn't have the right to do this ! I want to kill him as it should be, in the rules of art. Give him the deathblow when he is fully awake, in order to see his gaze... It must be even more beautiful when it is tainted with fear.

... Wait... I said his gaze is beautiful ?! No, it isn't ! When I crossed it for the first time I did everything possible to avoid it. It means what it means, right ?I'll puncture his eyes to make sure I'll never see them again. It's like that. But, for the moment... What I'm supposed to do ? He doesn't wake up. Why am I suddenly anxious ? Because he is maybe already dead ? Well, it's so much better like that, isn't it ? Not really. Nobody can kill him before me. Only I can butcher Izaya. Like always, I don't try to understand why. But it cannot be the case, there is nothing to suggest that he was killed, and indeed nothing that suggests he is dead ... I hesitate then check if he's still breathing. That's the case. So, he's just sleeping. And his sleep is very heavy.

And how about take some advantages of this situation ?

I slip a hand into the pocket of his hideous coat and pull out his switchblade. He always keeps this knife on him and takes it from his pocket as soon as a situation becomes dangerous. By scare, probably. Haha, Izaya, if you wake up now, you'll have the fear of your life. And it'll be the last because you'll die. But no, even if I take his dear knife he don't wake up. But why couldn't I knock down and kill him right now ? Only for a question of aesthetic, dignity... ?

There are things I will never understand. Why the sky is blue only the day, why the Earth rotates without anyone feel the move, why a mysterious biker suddenly appears in Ikebukuro, or why I always have to find a reason why I shouldn't kill Izaya But it's like that. You get used to, you don't wonder why. At least, that's not my case.

I keep the knife in my hand and make cuts on his jacket, removing a few buttons in some areas of the coat. Then I put this stupid switchblade in the place he was before. I'd like to see his face when he'll finally wake up, but I can't, I have to go working, Tom is waiting for me. So I leave him there, with the fury of have not been able to kill him. It's like that for seven years now. Why ? Go figure.

I prefer to look at the color of the sky rather than trying to understand why I hate him without really hate him.

**END**


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